I know everyone has seen at least one of those “but wait” commercials on television. There are several of them that just drive me up the wall. You know the ones; they get to what you believe is mercifully the end, then the announcers says, “but wait!” He says it as though you are halfway through dialing the toll free number plastered across the screen and it is his mission to keep you from making the call at that moment. Has he saved you from a tragic mistake? Are you now beholding to this man?
It would seem so since he is about to double, perhaps even triple the offer. He may even add other items of value to entice you; things you cannot live without. You know these items will at least triple the value of the amount he is about to request. The full market value of the added items, which have never been seen in stores, making you wonder how the full market value is determined, is plastered in large red numbers across the screen. Let's all start getting that something for nothing feeling about now. I feel it!
There are many of those commercials that I find especially annoying, but two of them seem to come on every time I decide to watch television. I am sure you have the ever popular ones that drive you crazy when you see them. Maybe the same ones that annoy me most annoy you most. Maybe our distaste for these commercials is our way to bond with each other and keep out sanity.
One of the most annoying to me is Vince, the guy representing the Shamwow towel. Think about inviting this guy to your next party. Be sure you ask him to wear that annoying microphone on his head and come prepared to demonstrate his product. Maybe you could even stage a few spills to make him feel welcome. Tell you what… I would love to come to that party, but I am sure I am busy that night. I do hate to miss Vince.
Now correct me if I am wrong, but have we not had chamois for at least forty or fifty years? I am sure they had those when I was a kid and that was not all that long ago. Okay it was a long time ago; the point is we had them when I was a kid. Work with me on this one, he is offering you a chamois.
The priceless part is that Vince has the gall to justify his $19.95 price by insisting that you will spend that much each month on paper towels anyway. Admittedly, I am not a family of five so I use less in one month than a family of that size, but I buy my paper towels at Wal-mart and I get them for around $.99 per roll. The ones I buy come in a pack of three and that pack lasts me all month. You can buy more expensive ones, but the cheap ones are there, on the same aisle as the toilet paper; not that hard to find.
As the commercial continues Vince makes a disclosure with respect to the financial condition of his company. He says, “We can't afford to do this all day, but if you call in the next ten minutes, we are going to double the offer.” He cannot afford do it all day? Then why does his company run that commercial at least twenty or thirty times every night, during multiple episodes of Law and Order SVU? Of course it runs on many other channels as well. With all the times that commercial runs on all the channels it runs, I bet there is not a time throughout the day when we are not in that ten minute grace period that allows us all to double the offer. You think? How does his company afford to do that? I am at a loss to understand.
Pay close attention now. The razzle dazzle of this commercial is in the final cost to you, the amount that is charged to your favorite credit card number when finally you get the okay from the announcer to make that call. That amount is not $19.95. Don't forget the sales tax and the ever present shipping and handling charges. Shipping and handling for the Shamwow product is $7.95. Yes, that is $7.95 to mail you the equivalent of a wash cloth in weight. But wait! Remember, you are calling within ten minutes of some time on the face of the clock, so Vince is doubling the offer. He is giving you another set of chamois free. Of course, you do have to pay the shipping and handling on the free ones. So, tack on another $7.95 before Vince authorizes your credit card for more than $36.00.
