Some More Top Tips for Becoming a Big Brother Contestant

I'm Gordon Shuffle and I've advised more than 24 past Official BB Contestants on how to handle the audition process over the past 8 years. My first article (Top Tips for Becoming a Big Brother Contestant) looked at the preparation needed before joining the BB audition queue. This article gives insider information and more advice for prospective BB candidates.

Firstly, before anything else, I want you to be aware of “Undercover BB Scouts” and what they are looking for - you'll understand how important this information is as soon as you've read it! There are two kinds of BB Undercover Scouts and either could put an end to your ambitions to become a BB contestant. By the time you've read this article you'll know how they work and what they are looking for.

Remember, Watch Out For Undercover BB Scouts

Big Brother employs Undercover Scouts who pass on information to Scout Leaders IF they think you're “worth a look” or “a no go”. Scouts can rarely be spotted. For instance who (unless they had read my article) would suspect a middle aged lady, with bad teeth, wearing a stained coat and pulling her battered shopping cart of being a BB scout? Who would suspect that old and smelly tramp - the one being moved on by security from time to time but soon returning to beg in the queue or to sit on the pavement, with his dog, so that the queue has to circumnavigate him? Who would suspect the two men on the window cleaning scaffold, the telecoms engineer or the bloke sweeping up the queue's rubbish and being very rude, justifiably perhaps, to the litter-louts in the queue? In the past and perhaps in the future all these people have worked as undercover BB Scouts.

These types of scouts (above) are referred to as Role Scouts. It is their job to highlight the existence of any “worth a look” candidates. They are trained to observe and then follow up with interaction. How you respond to the interaction is a determining factor.

Role Scouts have a checklist and mark the prospective candidates out of 5 for each category. These categories are: 1) Audibility 2) Voice Quality 3) Enigma 4) Appearance. They award between 0 and 20 points based on these categories. Candidates who return scores of 14 or more will be “highlighted” and are usually “hot queued” (advanced to real audition 1) at the First Audition Barrier.

1. Audibility

To score 2 or more for Audibility you MUST speak clearly. You can have an accent, in fact this is preferred, but you must be understood. If the Role Scout has to ask you to repeat or explain anything you say you have failed. You should express yourself in complete sentences and show you have an extensive vocabulary to achieve 5

2. Voice Quality

To score 5 you have to have a good, expressive tone and to exhibit “natural variation” in delivery. Although the scouts are interested in “screechy” annoying voices (in a typical house they limit the number of housemates to 2 with exceptionally “screechy” voices) they are mostly looking for “lilts, layers and sexiness”.

3. Enigma

Role Scouts make a subjective assessment of you by considering the question - do I want to know more about this person? They won't answer yes and give you a high score if you have bored them with a chronological account from cradle to today and revealed intimate secrets about yourself. Doing so will guarantee a score of 0 for Enigma.

4. Appearance

Remember a ratio of 1 in 5 housemates will be deemed “very attractive” whereas 3 in 5 are required to be below average to ugly. 1-2 in 10 are required to have “noticeable physical or mental disabilities” but I strongly advise against misrepresentation of actual physical and mental wellbeing.

Be warned however, that most scouts are undercover in role of other queue members. These are known as “Queue Scouts”. Remember, at all times, that the person standing next to you could be a scout. Never drop you act for a moment or they'll text the scout leader to remove you from the queue at the “first contact barrier”. There's no sure fire way of spotting these really but if anyone strikes you as particularly boring - it's highly possible that s/he is an undercover scout. Also, thoroughly obnoxious queue members should be suspect - it is possible that these are actually Role Scouts and so be very careful how you react to any obnoxious people while you are in the queue.

Queue Scouts function to sift out the many “no go” candidates and to cut down the “through time” at the Fist Audition Barrier. If a Queue Scout detects that you are any of the following they will text their Scout Leader and you will be marked for “kick out” as soon as you reach the First Audition Barrier.

You will be deemed a “no go” if you exhibit any of the following behaviours, tendencies or characteristics:

1. Racist tendencies
2. Religious fanaticism
3. Class Bigotry
4. Poor Hygiene (see Top Tips for Becoming a Big Brother Contestant for more information on this)
5. Sluggishness (see my tips for inducing sluggish behaviour in your queue's competitors in Top Tips for Becoming a Big Brother Candidate)
6. Post Graduate qualifications

Please Note - the exhibition of the following behaviours, tendencies or characteristics DO NOT automatically deem you as a “no go” and can increase your odds of becoming an Official Big Brother Candidate.

1. Ignorance
2. Egocentric tendencies
3. Eccentricity
4. Ridiculous dress sense
5. Laughing like a donkey
6. Mooning tendencies

I will be revealing a huge insider secret very soon but please add your comments about this article below. For more insider information, tips and advice please see my article Top Tips for Becoming A Big Brother Contestant. Here's to your “success on BB!” Gordon Shuffle